I've never been wasted after an English exam. Never, until now.

Yesterday's qualifying exam for the BSE English was the most brain-draining English exam I ever had during my almost-seventeen years of existence. English used to be the easiest part for me in every major exam I take, but yesterday... Geez.

The Cloze Test was really ugh, and it was my first time to encounter that kind of exam. And the Literature part... Literature! I knew that would be my weak part since that wasn't much concentrated on in my high school, and I only relied to my personal readings and knowledge. But I didn't think I would be a sucker in it like that!

I really wanted to cry after the exam. I cried after the exam. In fact, I was still depressed.

Anyway, I still have a fair chance of passing. The cut-off score is 175 (over around 240), and I got 124. There is still an essay part, which have 65 points. Which means I only need 51 points.

Effin' fifty-one points!

I want BSE English. I want it so badly. That was my dream even before--to be an English teacher. I want to pass. I need to pass.

Please God, let me pass. I need your prayers guys. T.T

Labels: blah, BSE English, college life, exam, freshie

I realized why we were the always one of the first universities that open classes, and probably the last one to end it. Since my school is a university for teacher education, and fourth year students are on their FS (Field Study, or OJT), so we had to open classes when the elementary and high schools start theirs.

We jokingly call this being 'hapit'.

So our second semester started this November 2. It was sort of annoying because no one except our Eng2 professor showed up for class that day. And our Eng2 prof was the prof we had for Eng1, so it wasn't that exciting. Our MIA professors was gone for the first week of the sem, which isn't really unusual at all. Somehow, I am getting used to it.

Btw, I would like to say that out schedule sucks.


I used to wish for exactly this kind of schedule and lo! It came true! Only, I realized it wasn't really awesome at all. It was a bit--no, not just "a bit"--scary when we go home at night so we always walk in groups. Then I was all tired whenever I got home--only, I wasn't that tired to stop my usual every night telebabad. *shot*

In a way, our current schedule is good because I could avoid being late. I SHOULD avoid being late.


I also keep a new journal now for the second sem. I really keep a personal "diary" aside from my blog. 'Ya know, to write all my crap. The cover says, "A life of challenges is like a work of art. The more colors there are, the more beautiful it becomes," which is inspiring before I do my daily ramblings.

I am very positive for this semester. I hope things will be fine, unlike what happened during my first semester. I hope I would stick with the "resolution" I made with myself, and I will do all my best to make this sem a happy and productive one. :)

Labels: college life, freshie

I couldn't say that the first semester of my firth year in college in superb. It wasn't hateful, either. But when it ended, I was glad it did.

It started okay--more than okay, in fact. It was awesome even on the day one. I had "friends" right away. Well, not really friends for that word mean something more. Anyway, I got along with them right way. We were friendly.

I liked the environment and my college life. I thought my school is really cool, and I knew this--doing this--was what I wanted.

[School Affiliations]

Then we got busy. I got busy. I joined eight organizations, and I passed in almost all of them. In the end, I had to lower it down to three (PNU Nami, a Japanese-oriented org; The Torch Publications, our school paper, and PNU Debate Society). Later I had to give up Nami. Then I got busier and I had difficulty in fixing my schedule so I only kept DebSoc in the end.

I guess I was in the period of searching my "place" in school that time, of setting my priorities. I had wanted to keep in college the interests I have and had in high school--singing in choir and writing for school paper--but I became affiliated with DebSoc (I am still a probee at the moment), and I had trouble deciding. I chose DebSoc for many reason, but the edge on it over choosing The Torch was small.

I didn't regret it that I sacrifice them over DebSoc because I found a sort of family here, and I never though I'd like it this much. Though, of course, there were times I missed my passions. However, I am still a member of St. Tarcisius Choir in Landayan though I cannot sing regularly because of my class schedule, and I still write (although it's not a campus journalism).

[Academic Stuff]

I also had a little difficulty in adjusting college life and my new environment. I didn't rent in a dorm and I had to travel my way from San Pedro to Manila everyday, then back to Laguna. So I am always exhausted. I barely had energy when I get home.

Add the fact that punctuality and Ivy don't fall on the same place. It was habit--or sickness, rather--since I-can't-remember-when which I had carried until now. I really had difficulty in adjusting. My classes for the first sem had been 7am and 8:30AM and I was always late. I missed many quizzes and activities in Physical Sciences, as well as the second part of my final exam. Imagine! Good thing my professor was really kind and understanding and considerate. He still gave me a grade for my finals, which is the lowest score of the class minus ten. A forty-eight over one hundred.

Then there was Fil1. There we have this awesome but strict professor. Ironically, I was always late in his class when I put extra effort to go to school early. Lots of things always happened that result to my tardiness. I know it is not right to compare, and that I am wrong, but I couldn't help but think that he always pick on me. In total I have four late's and three absences in his class, and there were students who have more that mine, but I was the one that he always scold, to the point I feel somewhat humiliated. I know I am wrong, I really am. But the admiration I had for my professor (admiration because he was an awesome teacher) turned into fear, then to almost-disgust.

I still admire him, and I know he did that because he had to, but I couldn't help but to feel a little bad. There was my understanding, of course. But the important thing is I learned from my mistake. I really learned.

[Spirituality]

Since I studied in a private, Catholic school from half of my elementary years to high school, I was surrounded by people who more likely have the same beliefs as mine. College is a different thing. I am in a state university with people from different walks of life, who have really different principles and ideals from mine, and although I respect other people's beliefs, I was never this exposed.

One of those differences in religion. My schoolmates are from different religions. There were Muslims, Iglesia ni Kristo, and many were Christians. I think the school was dominated buy Catholic though, although Christians are more active.

I enjoyed talking to my Christian classmates, and we share our ideas and beliefs, although of course sometimes we don't agree with each other.

I had many realizations. I was sort of "enlightened". We were invited by Psyche, my Christian classmate, in a sort of "fellowship". I do not know what is really called, but we sing and then a speaker shared things about the Bible.

I am still a Catholic, but I must say there was a change in me. I was a Roman Catholic before, but now I can say I am a Catholic Christian. For me, there was a difference. I knew Him more, and had better relationship with Him, and I hope it will continue.

There was one thing that Psyche said that I really liked:

"Religion cannot save you. And importante yung faith mo saka yung relationship mo kay God."

Though in my own belief, faith should be accompanied with good deeds, I agree with her.

[Friends]

I missed my high school friends. They were, of course, a whole lot different from my college buddies.

I have many "friends", lots of acquaintances, though there were a few of really close and true friends. Before I had them, our friendships had undergone many difficulties, misunderstanding, experiences.

I admit I am a really "unique" person. Well, I am somewhat different and eccentric. I have strong personality, and I was often misunderstood at first. Then when people got closer to me, they probably realized they're wrong, or probably they just became used to my complicated personality. Though in college it was different.

I was sort of a "click" at first. I could say my classmates immediately liked me. Then as days pass, things become somehow different. I probably became a asshole, or most probably I wasn't able to meet their expectations, or the image they thought me as. Things weren't that bad though. Those things aren't really that obvious, but because I have this little "paranoia" and I usually assess situations, I realized these things.

There were people whom I beginning to like too. There was classmate of mine who started as my "stalker" because she was always taking stolen pictures from me. She was really silent at first, but when I got to know her more, she is really talkative. We're sort of "close" right now she even let me sleep over at their house when we had practice until night from PE cheering, though I still couldn't say that she's one of my closest friends. There is a long way to come.

There were other people too which I am fond of, though of course, nothing still beats my high school friends. I always try to keep our communications open and relationships intact. I try to see Ayyah and Lea once in a while. Nothing changed between Jette and I, it was just the physical presence that was gone, but we still talk for hours over the telephone almost every night. We still see our other friends too in "parties" or informal get-together's. I usually see Eday and my other friends from the star section and we still talk and laugh like before.

There are many things that had changed between us, but the friendship is still there, and I hope it will be always there.

--

There are many things that happened between my high school life and college life. I know I've changed, although that wasn't very obvious at first. I used to fear change, but now I've already "overcome" it. I just hope we would change for the better and not for the worse.

My first sem wasn't really that bad because I learned so many things, but I wish and I would make the next one better.


P.S.
College life makes things a bit complicated, especially in my online life. LOL. So now my online life is dying a little, and although it's not alive and kicking, it's still breathing. ;)

Labels: college life, DebSoc, freshie, friends, personal, school affliation, self, The Torch

College life is nice. But for me, it is sort of boring. I mean, of course I like it, but my college life is tedious and it lacks... "adventure". I want some "action". I want to do stuffs and be busy. And the lack of something to do... well, that made me say that my college life is boring.

That was what I was supposed to write about a weeks ago, back to the days when I got really bored with my college life. But now, saying that my college life is "boring that lacks actions and things to do" would be a joke, or an offense.

I have so much things to do. Currently, I am affiliated to two school organizations--out of the eight orgs that I have joined. I was actually admitted to most clubs that I have joined, but ditched them because it had conflict in my schedule and my lack of interest. Now, I am a probationary member in Debate Society and The Torch, our school publication (sadly, I had to ditch the Japanese culture interest club that I have joined because of lack of time).

There even a conflict between DebSoc and Torch. Those two require much time, and they're having conflict in my schedule. I want to keep the both of them, but I know there's a very big possibility that I would have to choose at the end, and I honestly don't know what to choose.

I was even the busiest student in our class. There were times when I go to school with low spirit (which is not so Ivy-ish). And I've had fever last July, and yesterday too, which is so unusual of me because I am not so sickly.

I'm not complaining, really. In fact, I like being busy. It's just I wish there is more... competition. I mean, it's as if my classmates are relying mostly on me.

And look, I cannot blog to often.

Labels: college life, school affliation

I was late for my Filipino class because I got stranded at the LRT. It was "malfunctioning", they say. I reached the school at 9am when my class was supposedly 8:30am.

I almost ran on my way to the third floor of BPS building. As I was expecting, our prof was already there. This is the second time that I was officially late. Darn.

He asked why I was late, and I told my reason. He didn't admit me right away, and finish the thing he was writing on the board. I waited outside, cursing myself.

After he finished what he was doing, he went outside and talked to me. He "lectured" me about my tardiness. His voice wasn't mad or judging, rather it was like a father talking to his child. And after that, he said, "Pangalawang late mo na to ah. Isa pang late, ida-drop na kita." I was admitted in the class after.

I think that he was probably bluffing to scare me. But it could be true too. Anyway, I understand it. I know such kind of things shouldn't be tolerated. Though the transportation issues are uncontrollable, it could have been prevented.

He reminded me again after class. I apologized again.

I've gotten over it quickly. But when I really think about it, I realize many things. Like, "Ivy, what are you doing?"

Labels: college life, daily update

I turned my lecture notebook into a Death Note. Hoho! :P



Yus, this is a rather poor imitation. OTL

And do you know? I also have a new hairstyle. I had my haircut the day before college. Some of my friends noticed it, others didn't. Well, it's for my "new life".




Well, that's all for now. I'm not in the mood to blog, really.

Labels: blah, college life, personal update

The first week of college wasn't what I really expected.

I was up early on the first day. I was awake the whole night; I had no sleep at all. Really. Maybe it was because of anticipation, excitement, and nervousness all mixed up. I left our house at around 5am (even my first period is 7am) because I was worried that I might be late or something.

I had a little trouble looking for my Physical Science classroom (which is my first subject), so I asked the a maintenance man. I discovered that there was another PNU building on the other side of the road (beside TUP) and the overpass was made for the students who have to cross the street. Our G-Sci 01 prof looked kind and friendly, and that made me think that Physical Science wouldn't be a trouble this sem.

Having acquaintances before the start of the classes is a big thing. After our first class, I spent the three-hour vacant time with my new comrades. Though while having lunch with them at the cafeteria, I wonder if I am really a college student already, and the answer made me miss my high school friends.

The first day was spent mostly for the passing of class cards, signing of the registration for, and a little orientation and some get-to-know each other. It wasn't really the first-day-of-classes I visualize, because I saw myself as a "shy" girl at first, but there I was, making friends and laughing and talking with them. I was able to mingle already and act the usual way I act, though at the back of my mind I knew there's a big difference in actions.

Wednesday was our Freshmen Orientation. The gym was so full of students. First year students were composed of 30 sections, by the way, with around 40 students each. I learned that there were 946 female students, and 350 male, and we have this little joke that the half of male population are gays, while the other half are silahis. Well, in PNU is a university for teachers (which is usually an occupation for female), and you cannot tell which guys are straight and which are not.

I ditched the afternoon session of the orientation. [insert naughty face here >:P ]I was texting Jette and was bugging him so I could stay in their house, and he finally gave him. He said he'll call Steni over as well. I bought the pancake mixture which he asked me to buy, a California Maki at Tokyo Tokyo for him, and yogurt for Steni.

Since the LRT was not working that day, I rode on a jeep to get to the bus station at Buendia. I tried another route near SM because I was lazy to walk back. I just hailed the jeepney with the "Buendia" signboard, not bothering to read the other many signboard on it.

The jeep went into an unfamiliar route, and I wasn't bothered because I thought that was the short cut. I saw familiar street names, so I thought I will soon reach my destination. The trip took longer than necessary, and when I saw establishments addressed in Malate then Pasay, I knew I was lost.

I didn't feel worried, though. Maybe there was a little anxiousness, but not close to panic. Inside, I was laughing at myself when I reached EDSA something because of my little adventure. Good thing there were nice people who doesn't take advantage to a lost kid. XD

We just stayed on Jette's house that day, and talked stuffs, and made plans to make Steni's remaining days in the country memorable.

We elected our officers the next day, and I had more new friends. I noticed that our class is somehow united, and we're nice with each other. Maybe it was because it's still the first week, but I have the feeling that our section will have a smooth relationship with each other.


It wasn't the first week that I really anticipated. I thought I would have a hard time adjusting to my new environment, but almost everything went on smoothly. Of course there are many changes, but I guess that is inevitable.

The hard thing about this is that I couldn't spend much time with my friends, and I really miss them. But as of now, we keep in touch with each other and assure that we will find time to be together.

I don't really believe that friendship in college is really for keeps; I'm just enjoying what we have right now. My close friends from LDSP are still the ones that I really value most.

We have lots of vacant time, and I can't wait for the feeling of being pressured and being busy again. Haha! AND I think I look like a college at all. And I'm the smallest in the class. >< //been the smallest kid since Nursery until now

College is smoothly going... so far. :)

Labels: college life, daily update, freshie

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