I couldn't say that the first semester of my firth year in college in superb. It wasn't hateful, either. But when it ended, I was glad it did.

It started okay--more than okay, in fact. It was awesome even on the day one. I had "friends" right away. Well, not really friends for that word mean something more. Anyway, I got along with them right way. We were friendly.

I liked the environment and my college life. I thought my school is really cool, and I knew this--doing this--was what I wanted.

[School Affiliations]

Then we got busy. I got busy. I joined eight organizations, and I passed in almost all of them. In the end, I had to lower it down to three (PNU Nami, a Japanese-oriented org; The Torch Publications, our school paper, and PNU Debate Society). Later I had to give up Nami. Then I got busier and I had difficulty in fixing my schedule so I only kept DebSoc in the end.

I guess I was in the period of searching my "place" in school that time, of setting my priorities. I had wanted to keep in college the interests I have and had in high school--singing in choir and writing for school paper--but I became affiliated with DebSoc (I am still a probee at the moment), and I had trouble deciding. I chose DebSoc for many reason, but the edge on it over choosing The Torch was small.

I didn't regret it that I sacrifice them over DebSoc because I found a sort of family here, and I never though I'd like it this much. Though, of course, there were times I missed my passions. However, I am still a member of St. Tarcisius Choir in Landayan though I cannot sing regularly because of my class schedule, and I still write (although it's not a campus journalism).

[Academic Stuff]

I also had a little difficulty in adjusting college life and my new environment. I didn't rent in a dorm and I had to travel my way from San Pedro to Manila everyday, then back to Laguna. So I am always exhausted. I barely had energy when I get home.

Add the fact that punctuality and Ivy don't fall on the same place. It was habit--or sickness, rather--since I-can't-remember-when which I had carried until now. I really had difficulty in adjusting. My classes for the first sem had been 7am and 8:30AM and I was always late. I missed many quizzes and activities in Physical Sciences, as well as the second part of my final exam. Imagine! Good thing my professor was really kind and understanding and considerate. He still gave me a grade for my finals, which is the lowest score of the class minus ten. A forty-eight over one hundred.

Then there was Fil1. There we have this awesome but strict professor. Ironically, I was always late in his class when I put extra effort to go to school early. Lots of things always happened that result to my tardiness. I know it is not right to compare, and that I am wrong, but I couldn't help but think that he always pick on me. In total I have four late's and three absences in his class, and there were students who have more that mine, but I was the one that he always scold, to the point I feel somewhat humiliated. I know I am wrong, I really am. But the admiration I had for my professor (admiration because he was an awesome teacher) turned into fear, then to almost-disgust.

I still admire him, and I know he did that because he had to, but I couldn't help but to feel a little bad. There was my understanding, of course. But the important thing is I learned from my mistake. I really learned.

[Spirituality]

Since I studied in a private, Catholic school from half of my elementary years to high school, I was surrounded by people who more likely have the same beliefs as mine. College is a different thing. I am in a state university with people from different walks of life, who have really different principles and ideals from mine, and although I respect other people's beliefs, I was never this exposed.

One of those differences in religion. My schoolmates are from different religions. There were Muslims, Iglesia ni Kristo, and many were Christians. I think the school was dominated buy Catholic though, although Christians are more active.

I enjoyed talking to my Christian classmates, and we share our ideas and beliefs, although of course sometimes we don't agree with each other.

I had many realizations. I was sort of "enlightened". We were invited by Psyche, my Christian classmate, in a sort of "fellowship". I do not know what is really called, but we sing and then a speaker shared things about the Bible.

I am still a Catholic, but I must say there was a change in me. I was a Roman Catholic before, but now I can say I am a Catholic Christian. For me, there was a difference. I knew Him more, and had better relationship with Him, and I hope it will continue.

There was one thing that Psyche said that I really liked:

"Religion cannot save you. And importante yung faith mo saka yung relationship mo kay God."

Though in my own belief, faith should be accompanied with good deeds, I agree with her.

[Friends]

I missed my high school friends. They were, of course, a whole lot different from my college buddies.

I have many "friends", lots of acquaintances, though there were a few of really close and true friends. Before I had them, our friendships had undergone many difficulties, misunderstanding, experiences.

I admit I am a really "unique" person. Well, I am somewhat different and eccentric. I have strong personality, and I was often misunderstood at first. Then when people got closer to me, they probably realized they're wrong, or probably they just became used to my complicated personality. Though in college it was different.

I was sort of a "click" at first. I could say my classmates immediately liked me. Then as days pass, things become somehow different. I probably became a asshole, or most probably I wasn't able to meet their expectations, or the image they thought me as. Things weren't that bad though. Those things aren't really that obvious, but because I have this little "paranoia" and I usually assess situations, I realized these things.

There were people whom I beginning to like too. There was classmate of mine who started as my "stalker" because she was always taking stolen pictures from me. She was really silent at first, but when I got to know her more, she is really talkative. We're sort of "close" right now she even let me sleep over at their house when we had practice until night from PE cheering, though I still couldn't say that she's one of my closest friends. There is a long way to come.

There were other people too which I am fond of, though of course, nothing still beats my high school friends. I always try to keep our communications open and relationships intact. I try to see Ayyah and Lea once in a while. Nothing changed between Jette and I, it was just the physical presence that was gone, but we still talk for hours over the telephone almost every night. We still see our other friends too in "parties" or informal get-together's. I usually see Eday and my other friends from the star section and we still talk and laugh like before.

There are many things that had changed between us, but the friendship is still there, and I hope it will be always there.

--

There are many things that happened between my high school life and college life. I know I've changed, although that wasn't very obvious at first. I used to fear change, but now I've already "overcome" it. I just hope we would change for the better and not for the worse.

My first sem wasn't really that bad because I learned so many things, but I wish and I would make the next one better.


P.S.
College life makes things a bit complicated, especially in my online life. LOL. So now my online life is dying a little, and although it's not alive and kicking, it's still breathing. ;)

Labels: college life, DebSoc, freshie, friends, personal, school affliation, self, The Torch

College life is nice. But for me, it is sort of boring. I mean, of course I like it, but my college life is tedious and it lacks... "adventure". I want some "action". I want to do stuffs and be busy. And the lack of something to do... well, that made me say that my college life is boring.

That was what I was supposed to write about a weeks ago, back to the days when I got really bored with my college life. But now, saying that my college life is "boring that lacks actions and things to do" would be a joke, or an offense.

I have so much things to do. Currently, I am affiliated to two school organizations--out of the eight orgs that I have joined. I was actually admitted to most clubs that I have joined, but ditched them because it had conflict in my schedule and my lack of interest. Now, I am a probationary member in Debate Society and The Torch, our school publication (sadly, I had to ditch the Japanese culture interest club that I have joined because of lack of time).

There even a conflict between DebSoc and Torch. Those two require much time, and they're having conflict in my schedule. I want to keep the both of them, but I know there's a very big possibility that I would have to choose at the end, and I honestly don't know what to choose.

I was even the busiest student in our class. There were times when I go to school with low spirit (which is not so Ivy-ish). And I've had fever last July, and yesterday too, which is so unusual of me because I am not so sickly.

I'm not complaining, really. In fact, I like being busy. It's just I wish there is more... competition. I mean, it's as if my classmates are relying mostly on me.

And look, I cannot blog to often.

Labels: college life, school affliation

July 7; Wednesday

It's Wednesday, and we do not have classes. But I woke up early and went to school for PNU-Debate Society screening. Yes, I would like to join that org. So with my classmates Cheska and Stephene (which we convinced to join), we went to school that day. We were at the lobby of the BPS building where the screening would take place.

We were screened one-at-a-time. It started with the introduction. Honestly, I didn't know how I would introduce myself. Then they made me sing when I learned that I was a choir member. .___.

The screening was pretty much like an extemporaneous speech. We picked a random number for our topic. It was divided into three parts. The first part was to connect two unrelated idea with each other (mine was rashes and Justin Bieber, imagine that). The second part was to defend your stand for the topic you had picked (genetic cloning was what I got and I was against it). The third part was to totally oppose what you just had said. There was one-minute thinking time and two-minute speaking time for each part.

There were times when I was at lost for words, or a few seconds of dead air. But at least, I was able to stand and speak in front of them without being completely stupid.

The members said that we could come back on the afternoon if we have time because there would be an interview with the DebSoc advisers. So we passed out time at SM Manila, and watched a movie for a friggin' 15 pesos. XD The movie was somewhat an old one, actually (They Wait).

At 2pm, we went back to the school and the interview started. Again, one applicant at-a-time. It started to turn dark even it was midday, and it became really windy. Strong winds and all. Then it rained. Then there was a brown-out. Dang!

The interview was momentarily stopped. The advisers told us that we could go provided that we have an umbrella. But since I am living in Laguna and I was worried that I would be stranded along the way, I stayed together with Cheska and Stephene. It was better to get stranded in the school than on the bus, I said.

The interview went on. We were the last, actually. As for me, the interview was like "tell-me-something-about-yourself" thingy. They just asked things about me. That's all.

We went home since the weather was finer. They said that they would just inform us about the result.

Today, I realized I suck at personal introductions.

~

July 10; Saturday

Last night,I received a text message from a DebSoc regular member saying that I am on probationary membership for one sem. YAY! One step closer in being a regular member!

So today, I went to the school again. And because of some reason, I was late! I was in the BSP lobby for a few minutes when they were just at the TEC office. The regular members were talking Greek; I couldn't understand the terms they used. (Ivy, dahil yan sa register ng wika kung saan---*shot* //masyado nang maraming natututunan sa Filipino).

There were only six of probationary members present there, when there was quite number of applicants before. Cheska and I was there, though Stephene wasn't lucky enough.

After the regulars went out of the room, our presence was finally acknowledged. Sir Jason gave us a lecture about the basics in debate. He was an alumnus of the university, and one of the adviser/consultant of DebSoc although he was teaching in other school (Southridge). He said that he doesn't really want to be addressed as "Sir Jason" if ever we become one of the regulars, but "Kuya Jason" instead.

"To be a debater is to be a masochist."

-- Sir Jason

After the lecture, we would be having our formal debate for the first time. Asian Parliamentary format. Geez, I was really nervous.

The motion is this: "This house believes that call centers has done more harm than good." I was on the opposition, and assumed the speaker role of Deputy Leader of Opposition. We had 15-minutes preparation time. We went back to the room and it started.

Since we're all beginners and first-time debaters, of course there were some mistakes. Most of us had spoken for 2-3 minutes, contrary to the 7-minute speaking time. As for me, I was able to speak for 7 minutes 22 seconds. I was reaaaaaally nervous before I have spoken, and my heart was pounding hard. But as soon as I started to speak, I was quite at ease. Whew!

After the debate, Sir Jason and Sir Ali (chair members of the house) gave us comments. And then he told us that the opposition were the ones that we won! YAAAY!~ ♥

I had new acquaintances. Cheska, Sol, and I had lunch at SM Manila and we went back to observe at the practice debate"tournament".

The motion was "THBT cigarette ban has gone too far". I think it was British parliamentary format. It was the regular members, advisers, and alumni who debated. Grabe! Everyone was so enthusiastic and ardent and aggressive in debating! What we did before cannot be compared to them.

Watching them, I realized I have found what I was looking for at PNU. I mean, the aggression, the challenge, the comptetition--I've found it. Which make me like PNU more.

I was sort of "mentally-exhausted" just by watching and listening to them. I had excessive loss of blood (nosebleed, LOL). I was super anemic and I think I need AmpalayaPlus already. XD

We went home after that though there was still one practice debate. I went home happy because I learned many things.

I actually joined 8 orgs. 8D But I am ditching those that I don't really need and would keep at least two, though it's still hard to handle two organizations. And I intend to keep PNU-DebSoc. I hope they will keep me too. :)

Labels: daily update, DebSoc, school affliation

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